Counting Blessings Not Sheep

NEW to us Table

2012-01-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

Back about 12 years ago Brian and I purchased our home. We chose location over size. Truly I didn't worry because having a family eluded us for so long...I was sure we weren't going to fill our house anytime soon. It's been a great investment for us and has helped us bring our children to our family. That being said our house seems small with 3 busy boys. I have been looking for a table that would fill the space better. I finally found some on the internet but shipping charges were horrendous. Some used tables people still wanted almost new prices for a well used table. Then I received an email from a family in the ward that was trading up their table. Hooray the same table I want plus it was well used. No need to worry about my boys messing it up. It's fabulous! The boys love working on projects coloring, painting glueing and eating snacks. I love seeing them all together!!

Surprise Birthfather Visit

2012-01-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday january 21, 2012
BAJA had a wonderful surprise visit from his birthfather "S"
He brought a Christmas present for him. (as well as a present from his family to us).
It was a nice visit. I asked BAJA to come upstairs from plying "Your birthfather is here to visit" "What S is here awesome!" BAJA was kind and thanked him for the art supply kit. Then he proceeded to decorate the house with the special glow sheets and has been making picutres ever since.
As we were talking S kept saying BAJA looks like Ashlee. I think at times he looks like both of them. Then BAJA said "Ashlee you know my birthmom Ashlee that's cool!" Needless to say I haven't told him the mechanics of

how he came to our family.

Then I was able to see his wife and little boy who were waiting in hte car. So so cute. Truly I am grateful for all of them and the kindess shown to our family. I am forever grateful for BAJA being part of our family and shattering the grief I carried for so long.!

Happy Anniversary 17 Years...To Eternity and .....

2012-01-18T03:42:00.001-07:00

January 18, 1995

17 Years ago today...I married my best friend and he promised "to make me laugh everyday".
Certainly he has done well on that promise even in the thick of infertility Brian found a way to make me laugh.

Our wedding was a dream and I will never forget that day. The images are printed in my mind FOREVER. That morning as we talked in the temple we thought about our children and what the future holds. Those blessings were withheld for a time...but oh what a treasure they are to us.

Today we also share another anniversary with BAJA. He was sealed to us on our 11 year wedding anniversary. What a beautiful reminder of the promises we made to each other and to have our little boy with us!! Now finally we have 3 little boys!!

I LOVE YOU BRIAN!! Thank you for promising to make me laugh, for treating me like a queen, for all the magnificent travels we've had that made our friendship grow, and for loving me and helping me in all our endeavors.
To Eternity and.....!!!

(sorry no pictures...we were married so long ago I have negatives and no digital scans LOL. These pictures are from our sealing to Baby J this past summer and then our winter sealing with BAJA)

Delivering Hope

2012-01-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

I am excited for a new book!!

I met the author Jennifer Holt at the National Adoption Conference this past August. She attended my presentation on infertility. At the conclusion she introduced herself and said, "We kindred spirits need to stick together!" Can I tell you how much I instantly liked her because of the word--- kindred spirit
I believe strongly in sharing and supporting each other in the adoption community. So I am very honored to have been given the invitation to join a blog tour in anticipation of Jennifer's book - Delivering Hope.

I'm reading the advanced copy of the book right now and am hooked! Jennifer has a wonderful open writing style that immediately draws a reader in. I will be providing a review of the book, and an interview with Jennifer here on my blog.

You will have opportunity to enter a contest for a signed copy of Jennifer's book and lots of cool prizes with the book.

Whether you read my blog because you are our birthfamily, family, and friends. I sincerely plea that you add this book to your list. It does so much for the experience of adoption. Is that a good tease for you? I promise you will have my review in the next few weeks.

Where can you get Delivering Hope

• Release Date: February 8, 2012
• Published by Cedar Fort, Inc.
• Available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com
• Available at Barnes and Noble, CostCo, Deseret Book, Seagull Book, independent bookstores

Birthday Drama and Sickness Continues

2012-01-11T13:16:00.001-07:00

Apparently my children like to commemorate their birthdays with sickness and hospitalization. (recall that after C was born he spent time in the NICU and Baby J spent time in the NICU since he was a preemie)
When we returned home from the party Baby J was not doing well.
I had taken him to the doctor on Friday because he had develped a high fever. I thought perhaps he had an ear infection or was just worried about him.
Our doctor examined him his ears, throat fine. The doctor suspected that perhaps although rare in boys, he might have a urinary tract infection from the flu-like symptoms he had from the stomach bug. That was negative. She also suspected that perhaps he could have roseola which after a high fever a rash develops. She told me that she would be on-call throughout the weekend and let her know of any changes.
He continued to have a fever but was managed well with ibuprofen. Brian stayed home with Baby J while we had C's birthday party.

Upon my return he was very sleepy. I called the doctor. It seemed his fever was no longer managed with just Ibuprofen and it appeared he had a rash. Our doctor gave me her cell phone number to call if there were any changes.
My mom offered to have the boys sleep over which proved fortuitous. That night Baby J stopped wanting to eat or drink. He was miserable and in pain. The tylenol ibuprofen was not working. Brian checked on us Sunday morning. Baby J appeared to be puffy and swollen. I called the doctor she advised emergency room. We are blessed to have such good medical care and hospitals close by.
Baby J had numerous tests run. It was difficult for the doctors to determine what was happening. He had a abdomen x-ray, a chest x-ray (even though he didn't have a cough), blood work twice, an ultrasound, and a urine test. Finally a nasal swab to check for viruses. Sure enough it was a respiratory virus that not only involves lungs but also a virus of sinuses, digestive and urinary tract. It manifests with these symptoms: flu-like with vomitting diarrhea, runny nose, cough, rash, and fever. Yes he had basically all those symptoms. I was told all children are exposed at one time or another. But affects little babies the worst. The incubation is long and highly contagious so we could have got it from our museums we visited during the break, when BAJA went back to school since it rampant with school age and schools, or church nursery with C.
Baby J was so sick he was admitted to the hospital. He was miserable. Brian went home to check on the boys to discover C had developed a fever so he stayed with the boys and I was with Baby J at the hospital. MISERABLE!! Poor little guy!
We were discharged late on Tuesday and then I needed to take Baby J to our pediatrician for a follow up. He is getting better still in pain at times but better. C is doing better and for him it's manageable because he will drink.
Well this is what motherhood is all about.!! The good, the vomit, fever, and the ugly!

Wow Wow Look at you! C Turns 2

2012-01-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

January 5, 2012

Happy Birthday to the amazing C!!
It's wonderful and so surreal that it has been 2 year that this little boy came into our lives!
I NEVER thought I would survive his adoption story..yet the miracle occurred and his birthfamily blessed us and carried this little boy to our family. He loves life. He laughs he's curious. He's mischievous and gets in to everything but I wouldn't have him any other way.
All our boys (including Brian) have had the stomach bug over the new year. New Year's eve Baby J was miserable and crying and I didn't know why...then everyone got sick. Starting with C vomitting, then when I picked BAJA up from school he had just vomitted, then later that night Baby J. Brian got it the next day. I'm a germaphobe so washing my hands and doing the laundry spared me! (not spare of taking care of everything though)
C wasn't sick for his birthday Wednesday but his brothers were. Grammy brought balloons. After I was sure everyone was keeping food down I made brownies. This kid LOVES sweets and couldn't wait.
Saturday jan 7 We had C's birthday at McDonald's this year. I LOVE LOVE to celebrate my children's lives!! One has to get creative with a winter birthday and an active little boy. I think it was just the place for he and his friends and cousins. My mom chuckled at my that I had antibacterial towels to wipe down the tables and chairs and hand sanitizer for everyone. Brian stayed home with Baby J because he had developed a high fever. Today was the first snowstorm in a very dry warmer January. (maybe we could have had a bbq?!)

C LOVED climbing the slide. No fear for this little boy! He climbed through the tube and was happy that he was taller than all of us. He loved putting his finger in the icing on his cake, eating his cake and his happy meal!
Happy Happy Birthday to my 2 year old!!

Happy 11 Months Baby J

2011-12-31T15:11:00.001-07:00

December 30, 2011
Baby J! How did you get to be such a big boy!?
This past month you are doing so much better. Working with Physical Therapy more sure of yourself sitting up. You are starting to pivot which is what is needed to crawl. You like being on your tummy a little more. You can support more weight and it looks as though you may crawl soon. (Yes please).
You gave us a gift on Christmas...Your first tooth finally made its grand appearance.
You had your first ear infection and antibiotics. Then you gave all of us your cold (except Mama..thank you!)
You love crackers now, you love playing more and are SO SO Curious!!
Darling Baby J Thank you thank you for bringing joy to our family!

Christmas Morning

2011-12-31T14:51:00.001-07:00

BAJA could hardly wait to go to bed. He kept telling us to hurry home hurry home. He asked us where Santa was. We told him New York East Coat...puzzled look...then we said North America. MOMMY DADDY DRIVE!!! FAST!" He got in his bed trying to go to sleep before snack medicine etc. Finally we tucked this excited little boy to sleep. Brian and I have BAJA stay in his room in the morning (he likes to get up early sneak out and dplay but that makes for a tired little boy. Brian told him to stay until on the clock it said 8 and two dots. I said 9 and 2 dots. BAJA was still asleep in the morning (we checked the monitor and camera) Then I heard him about quarter to 9. When I went in his room he was standing by his clock waiting for 9 and the two dots. What an obedient little boy!!
Then we woke up the babies!
I had them wait at the top of the stairs.
I love how children make Christmas magical!!
Baby J was right there with his brothers ready to open his presets.
LOVE LOVE my little boys!!

Later we visited with Brian's family. They were so generous in giving gifts to our boys. We then went to Aunt Wendy's for dinner and party.
I also had to post the picture of C with his horse that Grammy gave him. So funny!!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

A few years ago we started a tradition with my parents to have dinner at the Roof on Christmas Eve.
My mom and I love the setting and the opportunity to slow things down a bit, have a nice dinner with the temple in the background. It's heavenly. C had a great time eating shrimp, ham, prime rib. Baby J felt like a big boy in his high chair. BAJA couldn't get enough of the Christmas lights and kept imagining how the lights were built. He loved that we were s tall as the temple.
Later we wandered around and recounted the Christmas story. Still even later we met with Brian's family for the ornament exchange and pajamas from Nana.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T05:44:00.011-07:00

Merry Christmas!
I have a profound love for my Heavenly Father and his beautiful gift of my Savior. I love the peace and wonder of Christmas time to celebrate the birth of HIS son.

Through Him it is possible for my family to be an eternal family. To know of a surety that these little boys were meant to be in our family. My heart overflows with gratitude and the daily tender mercies received that help me.
How wonderful this Christmas season to have my little family here!

I have been blessed for Christmas 2009 and Christmas 2010 to anticipate the birth of a baby. It has brought a meaning of Christmas that is difficult to describe. I marvel at the shepherds who believed and shared their testimony which encouraged me to believe. Believe have faith and hope that my desire to be a mother would be fulfilled. To consider Mary and her favor with God as one of his choice daughters.

The wise men who followed the star Joseph who ultimately as an adoptive father was chosen to be the guardian of such a sacred child. What better hero can my boys have than a chosen child who also has a wonderful adoption story too. My hope and prayer is that Brian and I can continue to follow Him and raise our boys to keep their testimony.
Faith Hope and Love
Merry Christmas!

Family Christmas Party

2011-12-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

I'm one of 5 children and one of the few with little children. SO...the past few years we've had a family party before Christmas. We read the Christmas story (try...Grammy insists and for this I'm grateful). We sing Christmas carols and a few of us perform. This year again was a delight to see my sister Sylvia play the violin. (For a long time she refused to play..now it's different).
I was so so proud of BAJA he filled my heart with so much joy!!!! He shared several verses from the nativity. He MEMORIZED them! When he recited them he has do much feeling!! Filled both my mom and I with joy.
Brian didn't get to see it. He was home with terrible food poisoning. Poor guy!

We opened presents. I could not get the boys to hold still long enough to take a picture. HA HA that is how it goes. I laughed. I watched with joy as Baby J onpened his first christmas present. What a wonderful time for a first Christmas. I'm glad my boys find it magical!!

It got a little chaotic after the program, dinner, kids running around etc. It was getting late and that makes for a long day for my boys. We had to leave the party--I had to be a mom and follow through with my constant warning. If you do that again we will have to leave...So we had to leave. However the whole drive home BAJA had I had a good talk. He told me I was the best mom ever and we talked about learning, serving, and doing our best. Sigh! This year has been a little more difficult. I'm not sure if it's just having 3 children (make that 2 rambunctious boys and 1 baby with some needs) or perhaps because I want BAJA to know the true meaning of Christmas and it's not all about toys and presents and holiday shows etc.
After getting the boys in their pjs BAJA fell asleep. SO so tired. No wonder the party was difficult for him. He loves to go go go and hardly stops but to fall asleep in his chair waiting for me to come and read stories....well that says a lot. At the end of the day I'm so so grateful to have all three of them. THIS is what I waited so long for...the chance to be a mom on the good days, and not so good days! Holiday drama and all!!
I'm so grateful for the sacrifice of others and the true service they have given me in order for me to be a mother.
Merry Christmas!!!

Gingerbread Houses

2011-12-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

One of our newest traditions is building gingerbread houses (or actually decorating them). Smart idea of mine to have C and Baby J in their high chairs. The babies LOVED eating the efforts. Baby J LOVES the graham cracker cookie! C ate some and smashed it. Despite C having trouble speaking he surely asys clearly along with the sign "CANDY".
BAJA last year was very focused on doing the gingerbread house just perfect as the picture (Thanks Carden School for the lesson in NO creativity). THis year BAJA said, "I just want to decorate it the way I want with lots of candy" Yes!! that's the way it should be!! HE and Brian had a lot of fun decorating it. I helped with the windows on the house.
So much fun!

Breakfast with Santa 2011

2011-12-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday December 17, 2011
According to BAJA there is only one "real" Santa. The rest are all just Santa's helpers. He couldn't possibly see everyone!"
This is the only Santa BAJA and now my little baby boys know.
BAJA knows now he can eat the VERY best mac & cheese and chicken nuggets. The boys didn't want to get their clothes messy for Santa so they wore their napkins Western style. (I hope little kids can get away with this bad manner way :)

We sing Santa Claus is coming to Town and then...He arrives! He visits with everyone at their table and then has a time to visit with the children by the fireplace.
While waiting for Santa. C watched Baby Einstein. He's totally comfy cozy. C has a little stranger anxiety now. So I fully expected him to cry seeing Santa. Ah Ha...Distract him with Mommy's phone and then he can't cry!

Cute Baby J. This is his first Christmas! He was so fascinated by the lights, bells, and Santa.
Such a good little guy!
After pictures we saw the giant gingerbread house, window displays, and then the NEW toy store. Lots of places for little and big imaginations.
Merry Christmas!

BAJAs Kindergarten Holiday Program

2011-12-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Friday December 16, 2011
BAJAs Kindergarten program was held in the music room. Yes this school is amazing. A dedicated music room, art room, drama room etc. It's a school dedicated to fine arts and service. (Hooray!)

Grammy Gramps, cousin Tanner and Ethan came. Little brothers stayed home with Daddy. We weren't sure how being in the music room would be and Baby J has a bad cold.

The school recognized many cultures. BAJA was part of the dragon for Chinese New Year. They sang a song in Chinese, then a song in Hmong. Then as parents we were invited to join in an instrument time as part of the song 12 Days of Christmas. BAJA was part of 12 Drummers Drumming. I'm surprised BAJA wanted to play the part of the dragon for Chinese New Year.
I found myself wishing though for more Christmas music. I love recognizing other cultures but I just wanted more. Thanks goodness he knows what Christmas is all about.

Festival of Trees and Christmas Traditions

2011-12-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Christmas more importantly I LOVE family traditions!

One of the traditions is to attend the Festival of Trees. In high school I decorated trees for the festival. Later when I worked at Primary Childrens trees purchased by the foundation decorated the hospital. To enrich some of the children's lives while in the hospital I'd take some of the kids on wagon rides or wheelchair rides around the hospital to see the trees. Perhaps that's why I love Christmas trees. (and why I decorate 6 yikes in my house :)
This year we decided to visit the festival in the evening. Hmmm probably won't do that again we'll stick with during the day. We had a lot of fun. BAJA liked watching the performers too,
One of our friends rom the National Families Supporting Adoption board entered a gingerbread house. Each side of the house was decorated with the theme "A home for all children" representing Japan for international adoptions, foster care, family (kinship adoptions) and domestic adoptions.
When I was helping the babies, Brian noticed how BAJA was fascinated by the string of lights grouped together for a tree. LOVE his curiosity!!

A few more activities we've done is visit Christmas street (um major fail) so we visited Twas the Night Before Christmas street in Taylorsville which BAJA declared "Now this IS a Wintry Wonderland" His goal next year is to make our house a wintry wonderland outside :)
We also have visited the Bible Story and read all the verses for our Family Home Evening.
We're looking forward to decorating gingerbread houses, Breakfast with Santa, Christmas Eve dinner, and Temple Square Lights. LOVE traditions!!!

Mighty Wind Storm

2011-12-01T12:33:00.003-07:00

Thursday December 1, 2011

The news warned of a high wind storm. I woke early to take care of Baby J. I heard the wind just howl. In fact in got louder and louder. I felt as if I was at the airport listening to the airplanes take off. I have never heard the wind like that before. I woke Brian up. He checked on things around the house.
I really didn't sleep much after that. I kept hearing the wind. Occasionally C would stir. We checked on the boys.
Brian got the boys started in the morning routine to give me a few extra minutes. I came upstairs to the boys looking out the window. SOmetime after 7:15am this morning our neighbors' large pine tree was blown over by the wind. My mom has worried about this tree for years. She feared it would fall on our house, bedroom windows. In fact she refused to park in front of my house when visiting. Well someone visiting our neighbor parked in front of our house. When the tree fell down it barely missed the car. My my! One of our neighbors was out taking pictures. I threw on a pair of jeans and ran out with my camera. MY MY it was chilly and so so windy. One of the neighbors said she'd call the nonemergency line.
The tree was completely uprooted! I took a few pictures, buddled the boys and took BAJA to school. The wind was horrible driving the short distance on the freeway to BAJAs school. THe wind was strong.
I returned and took a few more pictures. I had Brian stand in the hole where the tree had once been firmly rooted.
Around 10am crews came to clear the road. About 4 men with chainsaws. Two dump trucks and a cherry picker and bulldozer. C was VERY excited and Jonathan wasn't quite sure why we kept looking out the window. Several other trees in our neighborhood had caused some minor damage to homes. There were other trees damaged.

When the wind roared last night. I thought of Isaiah and the Bible how he described our modern marvels using nature. This must be what he was trying to convey. I marveled. Early this morning I said a prayer to protect our little home and boys. I am Counting my Blessings today that we are all safe.
I'm sad though for our neighbor and his tree that succombed to the wind. Makes me think of making sure to set down strong deep roots to withstand the wind.

Happy Birthday 10 Months Baby J

2011-12-01T12:23:00.000-07:00

Wednesday November 30, 2011
Happy Birthday 10 Months.
It is so amazing to see how Baby J has grown. This past month he has been quite sick. Finally he is better. He seems so big to me next to his birthday sign. I am truly blessed!
Baby J is working hard on his exercised and sits up very well. We are helping him with the transition to get down from his sitting position. He is starting to pivot on his tummy which will help him. He LOVEs to jump in his exersaucer. He also LOVES LOVES to play near his brothers. He laughs and giggles around them. His new face is to squint sniff and laugh. It is darling! He continues to want to be around people always. He is starting to take a bigger bottle to drink. He likes to sit in his high chair better now. He just seems so much more engaged in the world.
I love you Baby J. SO so happy to have you!!

Christmas Calendars

2011-12-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

Brian's family has a tradition of making Christmas calendars to countdown the days to Christmas. Thanksgiving weekend we gathered at aunt Wendy's. C ate more of the markers but managed to color his picture for the calendar and place stickers. I helped Baby J. He was fascinated by the paper. BAJA worked with Daddy to write the numbers. He then drew his "landscape" with the Polar Express Steam Train.
The calendars are now hanging in the toy room. Fun to be festive!!

Thanksgiving - Baby J's First

2011-12-01T12:16:00.000-07:00

Thursday November 22, 2011
Thanksgiving Day

I am filled with gratitude and LOVE. We are celebrating Baby J's first Thanksgiving. We are blessed to this year gather with our little family. My heart is filled with joy. Thank you thank you to our birthfamilies for making this possible!!

It was my year to cook for Brian's family. We had all the fixings. We did pretty well caring for everyone. I made the gravy at the very end so it would be ready. I had to leave it to simmer while I helped the babies. Unfortunately it tasted burned but really not too bad considering all the work involved in a thanksgiving dinner. It made me giggle inside to see two high chairs. C enjoyed his meal especially the jello and Baby J tried potatoes sweet potateos. BAJA ate a pretty big plate. I had to get him to take a tiny taste of jello but he preferred the whip cream on top of the jello.
Truly Truly Counting my Blessings!!

Sick

2011-11-16T13:04:00.002-07:00

The boys got colds for Halloween and lovingly shared with their brothers and us parents. BAJA and C are doing well but poor Baby J has not been so lucky.

Brian and I committed to presenting at the Southwest Families Supporting Adoption Conference in Phoenix. We planned to be gone for two nights. We were looking forward to a little getaway together. I enjoyed visiting with a childhood friend. However, my mom called and was very concerned about J. We quickly got on a plane.
His rummy nose had progressed to a wicked cough.I took Baby J to emergency care. He was given a treatment to help with the congestion. Then a breathing treatment. The doctor kept asking me if there is a family history of asthma. Unfortunately I don't know...the sad side of adoption.He continued to be miserable. I was told by the doctors a virus a virus just try and keep him comfortable. We had the adoption walk. Brian and I helped with media but felt it not wise to bring the boys. HE did ok with my Grandma but Baby J still not well I took him to the emergency again. Chest x-rays were completed to rule out pneumonia. Negative. Cultures were taken to rule out pertussis (although he's current with immunizations) Negative. Then a few more treatments for congestion. His breathing was less labored so a good sign. Again told it was a virus. My mommy gut tells me it's probably RSV. Although he had a first immunization in the NICU to help with RSV but the insurance denied a second dose. It seems that first dose has helped not make his sickness quite severe enough but STILL. My poor poor little guy.
On the bright side it is nearly 3 weeks and it shall be over soo. Jst in time for Thanksgiving and to count our blessings.

Halloween

2011-11-03T13:03:00.008-06:00

Monday October 31, 2011

We started the day with BAJA's school costume parade. BAJA was a Pirate Catain this year )although now I think his costume reminds me of a bullfighter or some Spanish exploreer:) Either way so cute!
He was excited to wave and smile. I helped for his class party and Daddy took the babies home. I decided to be festive and dress up as a witch. Of course as usual I went a little fancy. It was fun playing pumpkin bowling with the kids. I told them stories of my wobbly pumpkin and made them do tricks after a few tries at bowling. The very last group of rambunctious boys split open my pumpkin bowling ball it was HILARIOUS!

BAJA also had Kindermusik and wore his costume...lots of rhythm sticks for Dem Bones.

Then we went Trick or Treating with Brian's family. They love this holiday so they really like to dress up. We visited the shops and then did a few houses in his family neighborhood. BAJA ran to each house and C had to jump off the porch step giggling and growling. So funny. Baby J just loved all the action!
We visited at his brothers while the kids played and ended the night. I had left a bowl of candy on the porch. One bag of m&Ms left. Wow! A little girl shortly after knocked on the door. Brian said we were out of candy. She handed him a package and said "Now you're not out" SO so sweet!! Later BAJA told me he wants to start early trick or treating and then come home and pass out candy and visit with the kids. Yes that sounds just like him.

C LOVED LOVED the lollipops. He loves candy! Good heavens. C was my cuter purple dragon to go with me as a witch. Baby J was the cutest lion and many at the stores wanted a closer look!
Surprisingly I had fun all because I have children to celebrate!

Pumpkin Carving

2011-11-03T12:42:00.004-06:00

October 29, 2011

We carved pumpkins as a family! So so much fun! I have to admit...even though Halloween is my least favorite!

BAJA has a very sensitive nose and has always disliked the insides of the pumpkin. This year he was brave and put his hand in to scoop things out but told us he was holding his breath because it smelled "like feet"

C ---now fear kid took two spoons to scoop out the guts of the pumpkin. He chuckled, growled and squeeled. Baby J played in the pumpkin stuff a bit and just watched his brothers and smiled.

BAJA wanted a pumpkin that would make people be scared and run away. I helped C with his pumpkin and we kept it simple.
Hooray!

Happy 9 Months Baby J

2011-11-03T12:34:00.004-06:00

October 30, 2011

Baby J turned 9 months old!! My my where did the time go?!! He is growing so big and we are so happy for the progress he is making.
At his 9 month well child check he weighed 16 lbs 10 oz. Still small but now in the 5% for head, height, and weight. He will stay on the preemie formula at least til he's a year old.

He loves to play...he's discovered paper and items that make a crinkle sound.
He gives kisses!! He grabs my hair and pulls me toward his face to give kisses. Baby J has a smile to melt your heart and continues to love to snuggle. Ahhh
Separation anxiety has set in. My goodness! He really knows his Mama (hooray) and is sad if his Daddy and brothers leave the room even for a moment.

Baby J has been working hard on building his torso muscles. He can enjoy tummy time a bit longer now and can sit by himself for at least a minute sometimes longer until he gets super excited about his toy or if big brother accidentally bumps into him :)

He is trying more foods and sits better in his high chair. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! So blessed to have him in our family.

Fall Fun at the Farm

2011-10-20T16:39:00.007-06:00

October 20, 2011

I love fall. harvest..pumpkins..mazes..the crisp air

I think my boys are so handsome! I am so thrilled that I have 3 boys! BAJA is such a good big brother. He has turned into quite the little helper. So cute that C is in on the action. We had a wagon ride pulled by the favorite tractor, saw rabbits, cows which C definitely said "moo!". We played in the playhouse, got lost in a maze (not really because BAJA LOVES mazes) he was a little sad that the entrance was the same as the exit. Then of course the boys chose their pumpkins.
We finished the time in the playground. C had no fear and went down on a very tall fast slide. Wow!!
We also had friends with us Mandy and her boys I &J.

Happy Birthday 8 Months Baby J

2011-10-20T16:22:00.005-06:00

September 30, 2011

Baby J is 8 months old! My my!
You are now officially wearing 8-9 month size clothes hooray! When we last weighed you...16.1 pounds! Woohoo!

You love to coo, you are holding yourself up better. You can sit for a minute before falling back :) You love toys! You notice now when your brothers take a toy away...you search for it and protest! You love it when we read stories to you.

My very favorite is you reach up to my face and try to give me kisses!
LOVE you Baby J!

Dinosaur Day

2011-10-11T23:29:00.000-06:00

Saturday BAJA and Brian spent a few hours putting together a dinosaur. It was a birthday gift from his birthfamily. We knew it would take a little bit of time to complete so finally after the long days of summer Brian and BAJA were able to put it together. Each part needed to be punched out and then assembled. BAJA was so very patient. At the very end one of the pieces broke off. Never fear he said we can glue it! THey carefully glued it and let it dry.
The next day BAJA was clapping and the dinosaur moves and roars. WAAAAY cool!!
He keeps it on his special shelf so C won't break it. They get it out and watch it together!

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR A GREAT GIFT!!!!

Heaven's View

2011-10-02T00:39:00.008-06:00

Saturday August 6, 2011

The day we have waited for finally!! What words can I use to express the joy in my heart of that beautiful day?

Beautiful, love, joy, peace

For the first time we had a morning sealing. I felt the boys would enjoy the day. They wouldn't be tired. They would be excited. We had the sealing on a weekend rather than a weekday. That was different and interesting. The temple was busy but wonderful.

There were several temple workers who greeted us and helped us with the details of the day. BAJA was a good big brother helping C and Baby J. They played in the children's center while Brian and I prepared. The next time I saw my children was in the sealing room.
I could hear them coming. Mostly it was Baby J CRYING, CRYING. His cry seemed to echo in the temple. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to go and get him. My mom jumped up and left the room. I think Grandmas can get away with that. WHen she reached him he seemed to settle. However, once he saw me he instantly stopped and began smiling. I believe he was thinking, "I'm here to be with my family...I want to be with them."

We had a darling sealer. I wasn't sure at first. He seemed to joke with us while waiting and telling stories. For matters as this I am one who likes things to be serious. Yet when my boys entered the room...He was absolutely the PERFECT sealer for my family. He scooped BAJA up in his arms. He had him look around the room, had him touch the chandelier. Then he set him in my dad's lap. C gave Baby J kises. He gave me a hug and as he wandered he blew kisses and waved. He started to wander the room and my mom and I stood up to settle him. The sealer said, "There is no disciplining of children in the temple. We want them to have a good experience." To my delight!
Then my heart seemed to melt. I looked at my 3 beautiful boys and the miracle of adoption. I am blessed beyond description. In my darkest of hours I thought I would NEVER have the opportunity to be a mother. Yet, my Heavenly Father had a plan for our little family. I was moved so deeply. My children have their struggles yet the words of a hymn entered my mind as I surveyed the room, my heart and my children. "For one brief moment heaven's view appeared before my gaze..." That is all I will say for now my feelings and thoughts about our sealing are truly sacred to me. However, I will share that both Brian and I marveled and both of us will NEVER forget the powerful image of seeing our little FOREVER family in the temple.

Baby J was the sweetest little angel. He smiled. He knew he was with our family. He didn't want to leave me and he started to cry again. When we returned to the children's center he was asleep. Ahhhhh!

Outside the temple we took pictures. Our favorite photographer worked magic again and captured my feeling of that day.

When leaving the temple BAJA struggled. I was grateful that I had seen the stature of his spirit yet the mortal world and his challenges ensued. I was so frustrated...we were late for our celebration luncheon. Our family was waiting for us...yet then I remembered and then took a deep breath. Why was I so worried...it was our day. If everyone had to wait for us oh well. Once I realized that emotions settled. At the Lion House BAJA was a little charmer and we were surrounded by our loved ones to celebrate Baby J. What a wonderful day.
Oh my heart!!
My heart is at peace for now. I feel I can rest for a season ...I still feel like someone is missing. Yet at this time, I am enjoying this season of my life.

New Baby Ashton

2011-09-21T14:50:00.001-06:00

My favorite little brother and his wife Stephanie now have two beautiful children. Let me introduce you to Baby Ashton!

Love this little boy!
I am so so happy they named him Ashton. You see 6 years ago I begged Stephanie and Michael for the name Ashton. After meeting BAJAs birthmom Ashlee we wanted to name this special little boy after his birthmom. No other name seemed right except for Ashton. I watched their faces as they said we could use the name but oh my...my heart ached too for them. In anticipation of this little boys' birth they were struggling with a name. I said why not Ashton. They won't have the same last name and when referring to BAJA he is either Ashton James or James so there won't be any confusion. That seemed to lift Stephanie's spirit. She didn't want to hurt my feelings.
Ashton is wonderful and to be so so blessed to have 2! Life is wonderful!!
So so so happy!!!

Tummy Time

2011-09-21T13:49:00.000-06:00

Jonathan does NOT like tummy time. He cries and cries. It's important though!! When his brothers are around they help him...warms my heart!!!
LOVE THEM!
They were meant to be brothers!!

Big Boy Slide

2011-09-21T13:46:00.000-06:00

Septeber 10, 2011

The boys were playing outside then I heard BAJA" Mma Mama emergency C is on top of the playhouse" C was at the top of the stairs and in the playhouse. BAJA told me I didn't help him I'm not lying. I believe you but how? Then we helped him go down the slide on his bottom, on his tummy, etc. C can climb the ladder. Life will never be the same!!!

LOVE HIM!!!

First Day of Kindermusik

2011-09-14T16:28:00.005-06:00

Monday September 12, 2011
First day of Kindermusik for the boys. This is also Baby J's first official semester. His curriculum is Feathers - Birds and Native American music. I'm so excited for him to be in the setting with other children and hear music from someone other than me. Just love that time for him!

Baby C has Kindermusik right after Baby J's class. Gramps is helping me get the babies to the class. Yes said I'm not having music each day of the week but coordinating everything is better for the same day. I hope anyway. C is WAY too busy so I didn't get a picture of him. I will have to take some of him later.

Then we picked BAJA up from school had lunch, got the babies down for the nap and BAJA and I went to Kindermusik. BAJA only has 2 more years left in Kindermusik curriculum. My my Feathers (Jonathan's) was BAJA's first. So many happy memories. Around Christmas time BAJA will be learning the glockenspiel. Very cool.

So happy music is a part of my children's lives!!!

Happy Birthday to Mama!

2011-09-14T14:22:00.007-06:00

September 4, 2011

I love to celebrate and of course what better way than to celebrate all Labor Day Weekend long for my birthday!
I'm 38...perhaps I should have a more elaborate way to celebrate 38 but here are 38 reasons I said were part of my birthday!

1.Red Butte Gardens with the boys 2. HUGS 3.Kisses 4. Storytime with the boys Birthday Monsters 5. Friday Dinner with the family 6. IKEA 7. IKEA Princess Pink Cake and salmon 8. IKEA closeout of Bilar and all Swedish treats 9. IKEA gifts for Mama :) 10. Saturday breakfast with the boys 11. Shopping with ALL my boys 12 Dress for me 13. Couple of shirts for me 14.Hearing BAJAs voice the whole time on the other end of the store while he chose my birthday present :) 15. Kids at grandma's so I could go on a date with Brian 16. Movie date with Brian followed by 17. Dinner date with Brian at 18. Market Street 19. Scoop of Chocolate Haagen Dazs Ice Cream (Heaven!) 20. HUGS from my babies and BAJA 21. Kisses from my babies and BAJA 17. My mom made me a birthday cake 18. My mom gave me a book from President Uchtdorf - Happily Ever After (my mom is so cute) 22. Movie rental from Redbox 23. Sunday Happy Birthday to Me morning pancakes from Brian 24. Yeah no dishes or cleaning courtesy of my boys 25. Card from BAJA 26. Cards from my babies 27. Sunday dinner with a few of my siblings 28. More cake from my mom 29.Snuggles 30. Cupcakes from Sweet Tooth Fairy 31. Costa Vida for dinner 32.Playing in the backyard with my boys 33.More snuggle time 34. Storytime with the boys 35.Helping BAJA take pictures 36.Eating a few more cupcakes 37.presents 38. Blessed!!!

My favorite BAJA quote of the weekend "Mama I only put 7 balloons on your card becasue 38 would take WAAAY too many crayons and paper!" True BAJA very true!!
I am happy for birthdays and the opportunity I have to LIVE and be the mother of these darling little boys! I am so in love with Brian and happy to celebrate with him. He has made every birthday since the time I met him special! Our first together was dinner at Olive garden, flowers, and a string quartet concert in Park City. I love that he continues to celebrate my birthday!!

Celebrate Weekend

2011-09-14T14:00:00.003-06:00

September 2, 2011
To start the Labor Holiday weekend and to kickoff my birthday weekend, I took the boys to Red Butte Garden. We had the place to ourselves. A few older adults were there and they asked if they could take pictures of the boys they were so cute:) Well yes they are thank you!

There is a darling garden house to sit and play, a tunnel snake to crawl through that vines grow on the outer structure, and the snake's mouth is a fountain. I took BAJA here when he was learning to take steps so fun to see C jump off the steps! Baby J was content with me. In additoin there are snake fountains that spit water continuously and some spit water sporadically. Of course having boys means going to places with snakes :)

The boys have been listening to a new Kindermusik CD that features "Baby BumbleBee" well C really took this song to heart. There were bees flying around the fountains and the snake fountain. He grabbed 2-4 bees and mimicked the song. He was squahing them and laughing. I had to keep reminding him "look with your eyes" My My I checked his hands he wasn't stung but good heavens he kept me on my toes. Of course he was soaking wet...BAJA just a little.
Then they explored the large geckos.
A fun way to start the weekend!

Happy Birthday 7 Months Baby J

2011-08-31T13:56:00.004-06:00

August 30, 2011

Happy 7 Months Baby Jonathan!!

This past month has been a beautiful month. It began with court finalization and the temple sealing. Since this time it appears that Baby J is more at peace. It's difficult to describe but he is more calm, more alert, even more responsive.
Some may say it is because of maturity, that he started solid foods- which helped settle his tummy. I think not..rather I choose to believe he knows he is now forever part of our family. This is truly an amazing gift.

Baby J now rolls from his tummy to his back. He doesn't like his tummy so everytime I place him on his tummy he quickly rolls. I'm obsessed with a perfectly round head but Baby J may not quite since he doesn't like his tummy:) That's ok.

He loves bananas and tolerates peaches and pears. He is grabbing items, he scratches textures, he babbles and coos. I even from time to time hear him babble Mam. Which is music to my ears. He loves to snuggle and he LOVES LOVES to be with his brothers. They continue to have an amazing bond.
Love you Baby J
Happy 7 months!!!

First Day of Kindergarten

2011-08-29T17:18:00.008-06:00

Monday August 29, 2010

BAJAs first day of Kindergarten! What an amazing day! This little guy is growing up. It's difficult to describe my emotions. BAJA has been to school for awhile now but there's just something about starting Kindergarten. I was more apprehensive than sad. The school system hasn't been the best despite our efforts. I will say this...Challenger prepared BAJA so well!!

I woke BAJA up just to have some time with him and gave him one of his favorite breakfasts "Chocolate Hot Cereal" which is cream of wheat. Then I gave him a glass of chocolate milk aka "Brain Power Muscle Power" milk which is whole milk with Carnation Instant Breakfast. This little guy burns so many calories and he grows like a weed. I try everything I can to get him to gain weight.
WE took the annual pictures outside. We put the babies in the van (still in their pj's) and made it to school. We stopped by the office to give the secretary a little present (hand sanitizer) and headed to the courtyard. A kid 8 year old opened the door for me. A clue that children here have manners too at this charter school. It doesn't have to be just at the snooty private school that didn't work out for him. (really I don't have hard feelings)

BAJA got his sunglasses from his teacher. He really wanted the pink pair but I just picked up the yellow and proceeded to tell him they were cool! We took the pictures. I gave BAJA a big hug and wished him a great day! I held it together until he said "Oh I need to say goodbye to my brothers" He then talked to each one and gave them kisses. It confirmed to me again that regardless of what happens in this road of life...my boys are brothers and LOVE each other!!
Gramps came to help me..so Baby J Brian and I picked up BAJA. He had such a great day!! He wants to go back tomorrow:)

Gifts for his teachers and secretary "Thanks for your helping hand" Also his first homework from assessment making a buddy that looks like him. He wanted a belt like daddy wears :)

Kindergarten Assessment

2011-08-29T10:17:00.002-06:00

Thursday August 25, 2011

I received a call from our other charter school that there was an opening for BAJA. Hooray...more prayers answered. This school is 10 minutes from our home. It has a strong art and music program and the kids wear uniforms. We took the spot and also decided to have him stay the afternoon 3 days a week for the enrichment program with drama, art, music program. This will be great for BAJA.

He met his teacher Mrs H. She is darling! She showed him around the classroom and showed him his seat for the classtime. Then she asked him questions. Mrs H said I could sit near him I chose to sit nearby not to distract him. My my I didnt realize how much he knew.I know he's a smart cookie but to hear him in an academic setting my my!! She asked him to count to 20 then he said I can keep going he went to 100 he sounded out words he wrote them. We all just hope he wont be bored! However kindergarten is also about socialization and BAJA struggles in this area as well as staying on task.
After the assessment Mrs H and I were talking then BAJA said It was very nice to meet you...this made Mrs H tear up What a wonderful boy it's a pleasure to have him. So darling!

She also really liked his backpack and mentioned it again at back to school night.
Miss Kristy is younger teacher and will be his enrichment teacher.
I hope this year is a great one!!

Last Summer Days

2011-08-29T10:03:00.004-06:00

We were going to go to This Is the Place but the trains weren't running so we went to the Zoo. We met my friend Mandy and her two little boys Isaac and Jonah.

IT was one of the HOTTEST days of the year. So we didn't spend too long..we had a carousel ride and and train ride. Baby C LOVES the carousel so darling!!

Happy end of summer days!!

Families Supporting Adoption National Conference

2011-08-22T17:01:00.002-06:00

Brian and I serve on the National Families Supporting Adoption Board. The National Conference was held August 12-13, 2012 We love adoption. So wonderful to celebrate our adoption day and sealing and the following weekend join families in learning about and advocating for adoption. This was our first weekend away from baby J. Kinda hard for me as a Mama but our boys were with Grammy so in good hands:)

We were super busy so that helped ease my pain being away from him. Thursday evening we helped with the setup and had a meeting to learn about last minute details. Then we went to dinner with some FSA friends. We stayed up WAY to late talking but it was so much fun! Then uh oh food poisoning with a vengeance. Not the best timing. As part of my national duties I arranged for music for the conference and was scheduled to host presentations and give 2 presentations. Somehow I made it through!!

Friday Heartbound performed before Sister Julie Beck's keynote address. Then I preented on INFERTILITY. Apparently my presentation was a success. So many positive comments from those who attended. Then the banquet I arranged for One Clear Voice to perform. After the dinner I was so chilled and sick I spent the rest of the night in bed. The next morning I felt so so much better. I introduced the music for our keynote. Then I presented on Disability and Special Needs. Whew!! I made it. What a fabulous group of people with whom to be associated!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE adoption!!!

The next week Brian went out of town and then all the little boys got sick with a stomach bug. Finally when Brian got home he was sick. Whew! What a week! Now on to preparing for the school year and having the last of summer fun!

Happy Adoption Day Baby J

2011-08-04T09:22:00.004-06:00

Wednesday August 3, 2011

Today....a day I have waited for!! My heart can rest a bit today.
We have been granted full legal and physical custody (up until now the agency had legal and we had physical custody).

All the boys had a rough morning and subsequently I did too. Brian received a page and was working all morning. I got the boys ready but they were so ornery. I think there was something trying to upset our whole day...however that was NOT the case.

We arrived at the courthouse. I was so happy to finally be there. This is our third adoption I knew what to expect. The deputies for security just smiled at us. They gave the boys sheriff stickers:)
We went to Judge Fratto's courtroom. My parents were waiting for us, our attorney, and caseworker. We reviewed some documents. Then we went to the courtroom. We were so happy for friends and family to attend. So grateful Brian's parents could attend as well. It meant a lot to us.
BAJA had to take care of some business moments before court was in session. We made it quickly. We stood for the judge and I stated who was all in attendance. That was about all Baby C could take so for the remainder of the proceeding he sat with Grammy looking for all sorts of goodies in her purse:)
Baby J then fell asleep. He must have felt he was safe. Ahhhh!

Our caseworker was called to the stand. She explained how we have been wonderful parents helping Baby J nothing short of heroic. Our attorney proceeded to ask me questions. I was taken aback by how emotional I became. "Christine Baby J was in the NICU correct..I understand you spent a great deal of time with him do you feel you have bonded with him? The tears started to stream down my face. Absolutely. The next questions How I feel about being a mother. Do I love Baby J. Overwhelmed with emotion. YES OH YES Most definitely!! Then Brian was asked if he agreed to my answers. He was asked if he knew that he must care for Baby J. That Baby J is an heir. Then he was given the opportunity to tell the court about me as a mother. Then the judge asked BAJA. Are you a good big brother "Yep" do you love your Baby J? "Yep" Does Baby C love Baby J? "Sure and he sometimes gives him hugs and kisses and I do too" Do you promise to take care of your brother? Yep. (Seriously where did he get Yep from? SO funny!!) The judge reviewed all the documents. Then at 1:58pm he declared us to be his parents. Oh my heart...JOY!!!

Judge Fratto happily left the stand and asked to hold Baby J. We took several photos he was so so gracious. Then I told him he also presided over BAJAs adoption. He told BAJA he had a special opportunity to sit in his chair. SO we took pictures. Then Judge Fratto decided that BAJA needed a gavel. He went to chambers and returned carrying a BIG gavel!

One of my favorite pictures is the pure joy on my face and Baby C leaning in (he pulled Daddy's glasses off his face was a character and Baby J smiling at the judge. BAJA is close by). Oh Happy Happy Day!!

Then we went to a late lunch with my parents. A little snuggle with Baby J. Truly today my heart can rest....looking forward to the temple.

Happy Birthday 6 Months Baby J

2011-08-03T19:29:00.005-06:00

July 30, 2011

Happy Birthday 6 Months my little Baby J!
It seems now you look so mature. You no longer look like a newborn. You love eating solid food now. Rice cereal, oatmeal, pears, and applesauce so far...Although you get a sour face when you eat pears and apples. You are doing so much better. You still have reflux but it seems to be a little better. You are also sleeping better at night. Having a bowl of cereal at night helps and you will sleep from 10pm to almost 5am. Hooray!!

6 months means we can finalize the adoption. Oh my heart!! How I've waited for this day. Cherishing the months with you but also waiting anxiously for finalization!!
Oh how I love you Baby J. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think of the blessing you are to our family!!

Pioneer Day

2011-08-03T19:23:00.003-06:00

July 23, 2011
We hosted our family for our Pioneer Day weekend celebration. I took the boys to the aquarium and then we had our BBQ.
I love this holiday for remembering our heritage and for getting together as family. I LOVE how our boys enjoy as well!!

Happy Birthday BAJA 6 Years Old

2011-08-03T18:57:00.007-06:00

July 15, 2011
Today BAJA is 6 years old....It seems like yesterday that I received a phone call that he was born. I already knew in my heart though...

Then my life changed forever when his birthmom Ashlee placed him in my arms and I cried the happiest tears!!

We celebrated BAJAs birthday with friends and family the Thursday the Eve of his birthday. BAJA told me "My dream came true Mama everyone came to my birthday party!! I love how his brothers were there for the party too!! It was funny to me that BAJA had a difficult time choosing between a dinosaur and a rainbow cake for his party. I'm glad he settled on the Dinosaur cake. Of course, as he declared, " the whole cake must be chocolate!"

We extended the celebrations all weekend long...Friday we went to Boondocks fun center. BAJA had free admission. It's a place for older children but we found things for Baby C and Baby J liked being held by Mama :)

Then Saturday we went to dinner with Ashlee BAJAs birthmom (she wasn't able to attend his birthday...difficult to get work off). We went to the Cheesecake factory. I love how BAJA knows who she is and he's ok with that. He was so excited to see her and settled in between Ashlee and her husband Joe.

BAJA you are so curious, energetic, talkative, musical, creative, kind, sweet, stubborn, and the most loving little boy. I love you to the Moon and back!!!

BAJAs Birthfather

2011-07-09T06:37:00.000-06:00

Awhile ago BAJAs Birthfather S called me to say he had taken a present to the agency for BAJA. Getting out with all my boys and our schedule is tough. It took a bit to get the present. I'm so far behind on blogging too (but I'm catchingup)

Look how thoughtful to send BAJA a present and a movie to watch with his brothers. I'm so grateful for BAJAs positive birthfather. Over the years and several adoptions I have learned to appreciate him.

What a great present for BAJA!! Seriously plays with it all the time. All day and all night just before bed:)
Thanks so much!!!

Fourth of July

2011-07-08T20:18:00.001-06:00

Independence Day is one of our favorite holidays!
So fun to celebrate Baby J's first Independence Day!

This year we had a smaller crowd. I think it is the years of the "in-laws" where my siblings go to their in laws. I think July 24 will be the bigger party. What was on the menu? Bratwurst. Why we didn't have the American food. I don't know it was just what Brian and I were in the mood for so there you go!!

BAJA's birthauntie Elyse got the boys Patriotic shirts. Isn't she darling?! I just love how BAJAs birthfamily has embraced his siblings as their own. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

Really is there anything cuter than brothers in a wagon??
Then of course they has to play on the swingset. I can only imagine next year with all of them running around together.

We had our annual BBQ and firework extravaganza. Although this year we started lighting fireworks not quite so dark but I think we still had fun.
BAJA was Daddy's assistant this year too. He helped him open the packages and line up all the fireworks and what would be next in the show. Baby C loved loved loved the fireworks. He would clap "Yeah!" point and laugh. He did not like smoke though..he'd cuddle in to me and want a hug. Baby J enjoyed the fireworks too with Aunt Wendy holding him. (I spend a lot of time holding Baby J so it was nice that Baby C and I could have some time)

Happy Birthday 5 months

2011-07-08T16:09:00.003-06:00

June 30, 2011

Happy Birthday Baby J!
What an amazing little boy! He is doing much better. His reflux still causes him grief but it's getting better Hooray!! I took him to have a weight check and to check his medications. He is 12lbs 80z. Way to go little guy!!!
He is much more responsive. He found his hands and likes to put them in his mouth and look at them. He now plays with a toy hooray! As a child life specialist (play therapist) that's really important to this Mama! So so darling.
He also likes to be with people. He loves to chat and he LOVES to smile.
His birthday was the same day as my nephew's wedding so he was the youngest guest to attend. His big brothers stayed with a sitter.

I'm so grateful for the progress you are making! What a darling boy and such a joy to our family. Your brothers adore you and your parents love you dearly!!
Happy Birthday!!

20 High School Reunion

2011-07-04T12:45:00.005-06:00

June 25, 2011
I wasn't sure I was going to attend but...I decided to go to my 20 Year High School Reunion.
I found myself getting a bit nervous. I'm not as thin as I was and I wasn't sure what to wear all those insecurities started creeping up. However...I had a wonderful time in high school and enjoyed associations with so many wonderful people that helped shape my life and who I am today. I didn't want to miss out!

I also laughed because several of us on FB we all lamented about what to wear and who's closet we should raid!

We have facebook to be in contact but seeing people "for reals" That was so much fun!! My funny story is I am now friends with the wife of a guy I dated in high school. She said, Let me take your purse and save you a place at a table because I was so busy chatting. When it was time for dinner I found myself on a table of another guy I dated in high school and of course all his friends. SO funny! So odd!! Poor Brian what a great sport!
The reality is though that again...great people...great company and I am thrilled to have seen my friends!
Warmed my heart!!!

Brian was a good sport...apparently also bored being my papparazzo! Love you!

Father's Day

2011-07-04T12:41:00.002-06:00

June 19, 2011
We celebrated Father's Day and Brian's birthday. Saturday night Brian and I went out together for dinner. We thought it was strange that we could talk and have an uninterrupted conversation at dinner. It was nice just to sit talk dream about the future and what our new life with our 3 boys is all about!
Father's Day morning we wished Brian happy Birthday and Father's Day to 2 amazing little boys!
We had french toast for breakfast and opened presents.
We went to church and then visited all the family.

I'm so grateful to have Brian! He is an amazing Dad! Love you so very much!!!

This Is The Place

2011-06-26T15:59:00.002-06:00

Saturday June 11
WE decided to visit This Is The Place Heritage Park. BAJA wasn't able to ride the train since the zoo was so busy. We decided to take the boys to This Is the Place so they could ride and ride and ride the train at the park as often as they liked. The big train was running but not the smaller. It didn't seem to matter to the boys though they loved it! The boys also explored Ship Brooklyn, BAJA had a pony ride, and we visited Grammy who was volunteering that day too.

Zoo Day

2011-06-26T15:25:00.004-06:00

June 10, 2011
We like to have adventures so we started the summer off with a trip to the zoo. We were thrilled to have birth auntie Elyse join us!
A new attraction is the Dinosaurs. I didn't realize how big they were. Baby C was terrified! Later though he growled like a dinosaur and tried to be very brave!

Baby J was able to have his first carousel ride!!!

Last Day of School

2011-06-26T15:08:00.004-06:00

The school year has ended. BAJA had an interesting year for sure. At one school they told me BAJA has trouble sitting, was distracted, never participated, and he didn't know his letters, numbers shapes, etc Unfortunately this school did not see him as I do and apparently didn't know his potential or truly what knowledge he does posess. SO we made the heart wrenching swtich to a different school. However he THRIVES at the school. A great place at Challenger! They move appropriately he follows directions majority of the time, he enjoyed dart again, and best of there were short attainable goals: the alphabet crown, blending badge and I can read Challenger Book magnets. At the time school ended BAJA had earned half of his reading book magnets. YES he is a reader!!!
For the last day of school the theme was "Circus Time" the children were invited to wear a costume to school. BAJA wanted to wear his musketeer costume. He was so excited and loved this school. In fact he's going back for summer school. Why stop a good thing right?
Take a look at the picture of the first and last day of school

I also had to smile...ok full out laugh. THis is BJA racing a neighbor friend on his scooter and BAJA wanted to race in his costume. Oh my! This is his personality quite a character. LOVE YOU my wonderful child!!!

Happy Birthday 4 Months Baby J

2011-06-26T14:41:00.005-06:00

May 30, 2011

Happy 4 months Baby J. Ever day he is growing! He still struggles with acid reflux but there are more moments in the day when you can enjoy time with the family. For this doctor appointment Baby J was 11lbs 8oz, 22" tall and his head was 39. Yeah The last appointment baby J wasn't even close to any of the on target weight and growth however adjusting he was ok. At this appointment he was getting much closer to the statistical curve! Way to go Baby J.
For his party Baby C enjoyed the birthday cake for him:

Baby J is so tiny and cuddly. He certainly is a little charmer He loves to talk and coo! So glad I can spend quiet moments with him and he really really likes to be held:)

He seemed to also have a little bug he was extra fussy and had difficulty. His medication dosage was appropriate. We'll just watch him but t appears something is going around.

Baby J absolutely protests for tummy time...sorry kiddo you have to to get stronger. This was a good tummy time and extra kisses from big brother Baby C for trying so hard!

Memorial Day

2011-06-26T13:59:00.004-06:00

So cold this year for Memorial Day. Rain! I was beginning to think we lived in the Northwest.
Sunday ofthat holiday weekend we continued the tradition of visiting Brian's family graves. We bundled up the babies and put them in the stroller. We snapped a quick photo. Looking at this photo I think "Is this really my life? Do I have 3 little boys?" So so amazing how it all changes in a few years. I'm so grateful!
We decided it was too cold for the babies to continue to the other part of the cemetery to see the other graves so Brian went ahead with BAJA and I stayed in the warm van :)

Monday Memorial Day. We visited my grandparents' graves (my Dad's parents) and visited with a few of the family members. We then proceeded to visit my Oma's grave at a another cemetery. WE We then attended our extended family party with the majority of our aunts and uncles and their children and all the cousins. So fun for them to meet Baby J as well.

I'm grateful for all of our family members who paved the way for us to enjoy the blessings we have now!

Enjoying Sunshine..When We Can

2011-05-29T10:08:00.000-06:00

What a strange spring. One day really sunny one day rainy!
These are a few pictures of us enjoying sunny days.

Day Out With Thomas

2011-05-28T10:25:00.004-06:00

We were excited to have a train excursion. BAJA loves trains but we've never had an opportunity to go to the Heber Valley Railroad. We decided to go.
I think my favorite picture is all 3 boys in the vclub seating. I still pinch myself that I have 3 BOYS!

It was a cloudy day a bit of crisp in the air but nice to enjoy the activity.

Soccer

2011-05-28T09:57:00.002-06:00

What a weird spring. So many of BAJAs soccer games were rained out but he LOVED LOVED LOVED running up and down the field. Still difficult for him to focus at times. When he did however, he was great at kicking the ball and was fast! So cute that he would keep track of the number of kicks.

Baby Jonathan Quiter Moments

2011-05-28T09:44:00.005-06:00

Little Baby J is such an amazing addition to our family. His brothers love him and I feel so blessed to be his Mama.

Baby J is getting better but he stil lstruggles with his reflux and that makes him often quite a miserable little baby. Sometimes in his crying fits he is quite loud. His brothers cover their ears now. Oh MY!

He is getting better with Prevacid and Zantac (thankfully) there are quiet moments. He is now cooing and smiling often. SO beautiful. He has a sparkle to his eyes. I LOVE LOVE the intent with which he looks at me. Can't get enough of these quiet moments.

Double Sided Gift

2011-05-28T09:30:00.003-06:00

We've been working a lot with BAJA lately. He was having trouble at school last year...As a result we changed schools. It was a very difficult decision but ultimately it's not about me and MY school but the school that is right for BAJA.
BAJA is SO CREATIVE. It's amazing what comes out of that little brain. He is constantly moving, constant questions, the stories he makes up.
We had him previously in summer school at Challenger so we re-enrolled him in the school year. WOW what a difference teaching philosophy makes. The school has measurable goals to earn like the alphabet crown, blending badge, and story book -magnets. BAJA THRIVES on this! His anxiety is better and his attention, focus we're still working on. His school teachers have even commented on this intervention saying "whatever you've changed at home it's working keep it up" Since his attention and focus intervention he is now doing even more intricate play. He liked puzzles before but had a difficult time concentrating on Legos. Now he's building all sorts of things and he follows the directions of the kits better.
So I call it the double edged gift. Yes he's creative, vibrant, fun, but this doesn't translate into our world very well of control, schedules, a prescribed way to learn.

He likes to do Legos or Puzzles in his room because Baby C takes his pieces and tries to eat them so...he creates in his room or during baby naptimes. After helping the babies with naptime I checked on him. He was working on 3 puzzles AT THE SAME TIME. He likes to mix up the puzzle pieces especially with puzzles that have the same type of puzzles (ie wood and then paper/cardboard) Then he puts them back together.
Brian and my prayer is that we can help him succeed and reach his potential.Just LOVE LOVE BAJA!

Big Boy Shoes

2011-05-28T09:29:00.002-06:00

I am a fan of Robeez soft soled shoes for little ones. BAJA had them and Baby C had his trademark sailboats size 0 and continuing to 18 months. Wit h better weather and impending play outside I decided it was time for the next shoe. See Kai Run shoes are darling. I found a great pair at the local baby boutique. Baby C tried them on and cried. He didn't know how to walk with them. He'd lift each foot high. He didn't know how to go down the stairs crawling and sliding. Finally I told him they were big boy shoes just like big brother BAJA. Something clicked then he smiled squeeled and wants to wear them any chance he can. You ask him about his big boy shoes and he points to his toes and shoes. LOVE YOU Baby C!

School Spring Program

2011-05-27T19:26:00.005-06:00

BAJA had his school spring program. He's quite the little singer and one of the few children who does the actions. To our surprise he had a special part as TRex in the Dinosaur Hunt sung. He roared and roared for us again in his classroom. A highlight for Brian and me was BAJA singing What's more American? Then we realized we sung this as children and the tradition continues. Way to go BAJA!!

Bedtime Cuddles

2011-05-27T19:21:00.001-06:00

So...the boys usually need me all at the same time...bedtime cuddles are the best. Brian snapped these pics....

How I Spent Mother's Day

2011-05-14T14:46:00.006-06:00

Mother's Day as my recent posts have stated is an interesting time for me. I am so so grateful for amazing birthmoms who have given me an opportunity to guide these sweet little boys through this life and I have a prayer of thanksgiving in my heart, and out loud for my Heavenly Father in granting me this desire of my heart.

BAJAs birthmom worked but I still attended the FSA celebration of Birthparents. Even though I have resigned as our chapter co-chair (we are serving as National) I still will be involved in this important event to recognize these amazing birthfamilies!! I am grateful to the amazing adoptive families who are my dear friends for their service!!!
May 5 - Celebration of Birthmothers SL FSA
speaker Kathy :0 a birthmom and adoptive mom of 6 children :)

Friday my Celebrating Motherhood Tea Party - So So Fun!
On Saturday I spend some time with Ashlee yippee! (my previous post). Sunday Mother's Day was also my mom's birthday. She chose to help me attend church for the first time with Baby J. She helped me during the meeting. Oh my we fill that row!! Then my mom served everyone by having a salad buffet.
Brian and i then went to visit Baby J's birthmmom. She has been having some health issues. I've been so worried about her. She also had to move so my letters and pictures to her have been returned undeliverable. I was finally able to get a hold of her by phone. Brian and I met her at a place she is staying. She came to our minivan. I was able to give her a letter. AMMAZING professional pictures of Baby J. I also wanted her to have the picture of the 3 boys sitting on the couch! If I'm not able to mail pictures for awhile I want her to have that picture...that these boys are meant to be together and LOVE LOVE each other so so much! Clearly evident.
I think it lifted her spirits to receive these pictures, letter and Mother's Day flowers. She was happy to see Baby J look so healthy and gaining weight. Baby J smiled and cood for her. So So precious. I'm so glad I could see her!! I hoped to get a picture of her (I have just a few pictures of her but not direct pictures. I so want Baby J to have one of her) but she was not feeling well and I didn't dare ask).I hope Vanessa knows how much we love and care for her. She told me I was a good mom and sad that I couldn't have children. I told her if not my womb...than out of all the wombs in the world Baby J came through her and he is in our family. She will always be special and of worth to our family.

Truly I am grateful for birthfamilies!

We then visited Nana and tired to get a few tired boy pictures in at the end of the day! I love Brian so much for recognizing the birthmoms, grandmas and me on this day!! Thanks Brian!! PS Brian I am STILL waiting for my mother's day card :)

Celebrating Motherhood

2011-05-13T14:33:00.009-06:00

Friday May 6, 2011
Celebrating Motherhood Tea Party
I certainly enjoy celebrations!! Often subsequent adoptions aren't celebrated as when first children arrive but I believe each life should be celebrated. Also Mother's Day is an interesting holiday for me. For so so so long it was difficult (it actually continues to be....I guess I'm so sensitive of my feelings and those of others it's just difficult). I also want to celebrate Motherhood. Not only my motherhood but also how my fellow adoptive moms, friends, and family have supported us in finding our family. I truly appreciate the influence of aunties, and dear friends who participate in Motherhood with their influence in my children's lives. That too should be celebrated.

So again this year we Celebrated Motherhood. This year at So Cupcake. Baby J hosted an event for me this year. Cupcakes, salad, strawberries, chicken salad dollar rolls, and our party favors my favorite lemon, and orange spice teas with chocolate. So Yum, So Cute!!!
With three boys now I need to bring up the girlie stuff So Cupcake is darling and yes mini cupcakes. That makes it possible to try several :)

2011-05-08T18:35:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to My Mother

My Mom's birthday is the week of Mother's Day. I remember as a child in school making gifts for my mom but not wanting to wait because it was also her birthday.

A special post for my mother. She is spunky, full of energy, and JOY! She was there for me as a little child and continues to help me along my journey of motherhood.

I pray I can be one part of my mother ...she continues to LOVE and serve!
Thank you Mom for being the example of what motherhood is all about.

Mother's Day For This Child I Prayed

2011-05-08T08:26:00.000-06:00

Sunday May 8, 2011
An Encore post...I feel the same and have a deeper love and appreciation...Once again I am blessed to hold another baby for which I prayed.

"For This Child I Prayed" by Elspeth Young from the series Women of the Old Testament

I don't want anyone to EVER feel alone as I have for so many years. I yearned for the joy of being a mother. True I have participated in motherhood as an auntie and a nurturer yet I yearned for the joy of having life inside me. To feel movement from a baby in my womb. To bear a child. That was not to be.

Yet through infertility and now being not only barren but sterile thanks to my hysterectomy. I have learned about myself and have grown closer to my Heavenly Father. Too sacred to share but I know of His divinity and love for me. I know He has a plan for me and my family. I have grown closer to the love of my life Brian. This came at a price, a difficult heart wrenching price, yet I am grateful for the strength of my marriage.

I have allowed my weak things to become strong through the Lord. My heroines are Hannah, Sarah, Rachel and Elizabeth. Slowly I have welcomed the lessons of Eve and Mary.

When BAJA was born my dear friend made me a wooden plaque "For This Child I Prayed" she truly knew my heart and my journey.

The year Baby C was placed in our family, I received this gift that couldn't wait until Mother's Day. This is one of my favorite paintings. The painting by Elspeth Young depicting Hannah. When I was given this surprise I was overcome with emotions. I wept!
And [Hannah] vowed a vow, and said, O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life... and the Lord remembered her.

Heavenly Father has remembered me and mine affliction! I am blessed to first have BAJA, Baby, C, and now sweet little Baby J. Blessed to have these miracles in my life.

Hannah brought the child to Eli. And she said, O my lord, as thy soul liveth, my lord, I am the woman that stood by thee here, praying unto the Lord. For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord. And he worshipped the Lord there.1 Samuel 1:11, 19,-20, 24-28

I have prayed in the temple.....I have prayed....always.........

My new prayer continues for our family. That I can help my boys keep their testimony and faith. It took faith on my part but certainly their faith to trust Heavenly Father that through adoption my boys would make it to our family. Placed in our family.
I read my boys from the scriptures this weekend and it was the passages of the atonement and Resurrection of our Savior. I was overcome with emotion and started to weep. BAJA asked me what was happening. I bore my testimony to my children. How fit to read of the Father's sacrifice when a sacrifice was made for me to become a mother not just once but three times.
My boys....
They will not doubt that their "mother knew it" know of my faith. In truth I have lent them to the Lord. They are mine for a time, to nurture to love, until it is time for them to go forward and serve with their testimonies as strong as EVER.

The Lord did not answer the prayer through conceiving a child, bearing a child. However, I have born my children. Emotionally, spiritually, physically.

The Lord remembered me. I am blessed. My prayers have been answered.

All Because A Birthmother....

2011-05-07T21:45:00.005-06:00

Saturday May 7, 2011
Today is National Birthmother's Day. It was chosen by a group of birthmothers in Seattle as a way to honor birthmothers who gave first so another woman could be a mother.
It is All Because a Birthmom 6 years ago this week chose me and Brian to guide her baby through this life and place him in our family. It was the first Mother's Day I could be happy anticipating the birth of a little boy!
Ashlee will always have a special place in my heart!
I have a deep love for our son's birthmothers. Katie and now Vanessa.

I was able to spend some time with Ashlee today. We went to lunch and then she came to watch BAJA play soccer. I can't imagine a better way to spend Mother's Day weekend!

So So So MUCH LOVE!!!

Happy Birthday 3 Months

2011-05-01T14:18:00.003-06:00

April 30, 2011
Happy 3 months Baby J

Baby J is now 8 pounds 14 oz. He is 20 inches tall. He is in the 10% for his weight. However, consider that he was 7 weeks early so we adjust his developmental age (He really would have only been almost 2 months old.)
Baby J has started to smile this week when we talk to him. He is more aware of his surroundings. His eyes are a deep blue.
Baby J continues to LOVE snuggling. He loves to hear his Mama Daddy and brothers voices. He likes to be close by.

The past few weeks though have been difficult for Baby J. He has progressively become more irritable. He has thrown up and has been in pain. His smile turned to frowns and he wasn't sleeping well.
Thankfully Brian and I thought about what could be happening. Then we realized since he is growing and weighing more maybe the dosage for his medicine should change. We called the doctor hooray he was feeling better for his 3 months Birthday Party.

Baby J you are such a blessing to our family! You have started to coo and sometimes what I think is "Ma". Your brothers adore you!

National Infertility Awareness Week

2011-05-01T13:31:00.006-06:00

This past week was National Infertility Awareness Week culminating in the 2nd Annual Infertility Awareness Event at the University of Utah. Again this year I served on the committee for the event. I am grateful to associate with so outstanding women. This year I moderated the panel discussion and helped with publicizing the event. Thank you to my friend Kerstin Daynes(author of Infertility: Help, Hope and Healing) for giving me the honor again this year to serve.

Why? You might ask. I have children now. Well...I had the disease of Infertility now I am sterile. It is apart of who I am, my development. Adoption doesn't cure infertility. Adoption was a cure for childlessness. Although not as often...I still feel the pains of not ever being able to carry a child and feel life growing in me. I had to mourn the loss of a biological child. But when you lose a loved one you still miss that person.

I also believe that Infertility is important to talk about!! For so so many years I felt isolated..unworthy of Heavenly Father's blessing...forsaken...left out. I vowed that I would NEVER let someone else feel that way. I take very seriously my covenant to mourn with those who mourn and comfort those in need of comfort. It's taken me many years to openly acknowledge that we struggle with infertility however that is part of the covenant I made. I now advocate for individuals that includes Infertility AND Adoption.

Sometimes I've wondered if what I do really matters. It matters to me but sometimes I'd like a glimpse of whether or not I can be of assistance to someone. I was very very emotional after the event yesterday. I learned that things DO matter. I was able to meet a few people that have followed my blog anonymously. Whatever I have said has helped them in their journey. I am so so grateful that we can go on this life journey together. That we are not alone. We have each other...we have the Lord. Thank you thank you! That is a tender mercy that I needed this week!!

To be apart of the challenge I want to dispel some MYTHS about Infertility AND Adoption

MYTHS
If you just relax - take it easy...you'll get pregnant.

BUSTED: I can't tell you how many times Brian and I heard this. Remember he works for the airlines we can travel anywhere. As a result we did travel...a lot...guess what we NEVER conceived in Hawaii, London, Sweden, Portland, Daytona Beach, Orlando, San Antonio, Denver, etc...etc...etc.

MYTH: Just adopt ...you'll get pregnant

BUSTED: When I learned about reproduction my parents didn't tell me that's how to conceive. I learned "When two people love each other..." In addition, when I took biology in school the lesson plan NEVER included a requirement to put paperwork in for adoption and then you'll get pregnant.
I know people are well meaning but when you say "Just adopt" that minimizes the adoption process, it minimizes the sacrifice of their birthfamilies, it minimizes this VERY REAL option for women to choose and for me to be a parent.

MYTH: Adoption is easier and much less expensive

BUSTED: Easier for whom? It's a difficult decision for a birthmother when so many other voices are telling a birthmom she's selfish, she doesn't love her child. This makes my blood boil! I have witnessed time and time again the pain that a birthmom endures but placing a child in the family so that her child can have all that she hopes and dreams...for her child. Adoption is THE most selfless act!!

Even though I didn't go through physical labor for a child...I endured adoption labor. Completing the paperwork, background checks, fingerprints, lack of privacy, exams for psychological wellness, creating a profile hoping, praying that it will bring a child to our home, then being chosen and the uncertainty whether or not a birthmother will actually relinquish. Then, mourning for a birthmother at the same time rejoicing when a child is placed in our home.
Then adoption is expensive emotionally and monetary. Brian and I would have named Baby C Cucina if he was a girl since the money we spent for his adoption would have been a fabulous kitchen with granite counter tops. But truly I am grateful for Baby C and he is way way way cuter and definitely worth it!!!

MYTH: Who's fault is it? People would ask "IS it you or Brian?"

BUSTED: I know we struggle with conceiving a child but it does take two to tango. SO does it really matter who's Fault it is? Brian and I are in this together. It's our desire to be parents. It was so so terrible when people asked. Why are people so nosey anyway?? This is quite personal stuff. For a long time I felt like the broken doll. The one to blame. I had irregular cycles the official diagnosis annovulation then Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Then eventually Brian was tested too. Brian's sperm are the typical guy..they don't ask for directions and once they get there they don't know how to get into the egg. Sheesh! So there you have it we're both broken. Now Brian's sperm are really in trouble because I no longer have a uterus, ovaries since I had to have a hysterectomy after tumors were discovered on my ovaries. Poor poor Brian's little sperm :)

MYTH: Do you need some advice or help on how?
BUSTED: Couples experiencing infertility actually know WAY more about biology and the mechanics of trying to conceive a child. Thank you very much :)

MYTH: How can you love a child that you didn't carry in your womb? Can you love a child that isn't part of your DNA?
BUSTED: The moment my children were in my arms I knew they were meant for our family. They are not OF ME but are MINE. I fell in love with my little boys. There was a deep connection I felt with each one and continue to feel that connection. When I see my boys together I have a confirming feeling they were meant to be brothers. They knew of this new plan to enter our home through adoption. Faith not only on my part and Brian's but also on the part of my boys!!!

I am also grateful I was able to be with friends at the conference as well as go to lunch with friends. People who have a shared journey. It lifted my heart. Thank you!

Last year's conference picture. I didn't have my camera this year :(

Future Princess and Our Royal Wedding Tea Party

2011-04-29T15:53:00.009-06:00

Friday April 29, 2011

I must say I have always been enchanted by the idea of being a princess. As I grew, it became a fascination to watch royal families specifically in England. perhaps it was my mom telling me about Grace Kelly. Perhaps it was watching Lady Diana and Prince Charles wedding when I was 7 years old. (I remember watching Good Morning America with my mom). Then when Brian and I took our first trip to Hawaii it was during Princess Diana's funeral and I watched that from our hotel room. Later I saw the Princess Diana dress exhibit at the University of Utah.

So to say that I was excited to watch the Royal Wedding of William and Kate...that's an understatement. With 3 boys now though I love to play up the girly girl stuff.

I ordered scones and lemon curd tarts from Elizabeth's Bakery and Tea Shop. Delightful (seriously the darling place and THE nicest people there!) I pulled out the china and planned my tea party to celebrate. Inadvertently I scheduled our 3 month supervisory visit for Baby J but still it was fun to welcome our caseworkers and offer them our fare for the day.
I wore my silk dress and coat I affectionately call my Princess Diaries Dress. I had the boys dress for the occasion as well :)

Ultimately though...I think I'm fascinated by the Princess idea because truly being a daughter of God I am a royal princess in waiting. Each of us has a divine nature. I am thankful I know who I am, where I'm going, and Who I will become! That to me is precious!
It's sad to me that virtue is not part of the modern princess. In Sweden and in GB both royals lived together first for a time. As much as I think Kate is darling I'm sad that the incident that caught the Prince's eye was her see-through dress. I'm sad for the loss of virtue where it's more acceptable to "be modern". The bright side there is a royal wedding today. A new opportunity for grace, beauty, elegance, and a return to tradition.
Happy Royal Wedding....and happiness for the promise of future princess

Easter

2011-04-29T15:17:00.004-06:00

This year we are thrilled to have 3 boys with whom to celebrate!

I don't have very many photos because the festivities at our families' homes I didn't have our camera. (I charged Bri with bringing Baby J to the car and the camera). I'm so happy he brought Baby J.

Brian's family celebrates the night before with decorating Easter eggs.

Then the next morning Easter of course. Brian and I have decided that next year we will ask the Easter Rabbit to hop by our house on Saturday. That way we can focus on the meaning of Easter. Thus it also brings the celebrations of coloring eggs and the hunt on Saturday.

Wee had the Easter baskets. BAJA carefully inspected his basket and determined how many candies he received. Baby C on the other hand wasted no time in opening his eggs and eating the candy. He quickly ran to the corner of our front room trying to hide from us in order to eat his candy. Then of course he ate all of his and tried to get candy from Big Brother BAJA. Hillarious!
Baby J was ever so sweet.
We appreciate so VERY VERY much BAJAs birthfamily in also sending Easter baskets to our home. It warms my heat that they have embraced BAJAs siblings. I am truly grateful since Baby Cs and Baby Js adoptions are quite different. Again so so dear!

My mom was so kind to watch the babies while I helped sing at church. I had a solo incredibly nervous to sing I Know That My Redeemer Liveth from Handel's Messiah. My nerves got the best of me for the first two notes then my prayer was answered and my nerves were calmed to finish the piece. Brian is my best true critic and he said other than the first few notes I was wonderful:) He helped calm my nerves. Perhaps since I haven't really been out much since Baby J that added to my nerves and being around people again. Whew!!
That song means a tremendous amount to me for I truly have a testimony of the divinity of Jesus Christ. He is my Savior and friend.
I love how BAJA has learned and is believing of the Resurretion. He drew a picture of the tomb Jesus and the stone that was rolled in front of the tomb. SO glad that my constant desire to teach him has moments when I know he listened.

Later we went to my mom's for dinner with my siblings and then to visit Brian's family.
Happy Easter

Birth Announcement

2011-04-16T14:39:00.013-06:00

We feel so blessed to welcome Baby Jonathan to our family

Brian's family tradition is to pull faces in at least one picture. However, this time Brian and I decided to have fun with the reality of having 3 boys! (we are happily adjusting )

Thank you Kate at www.peekaboophotos.com

Baby Jonathan's Adoption Story

2011-04-15T15:01:00.016-06:00

Part I
Several events occurred that prepared us for Baby Jonathan's arrival to our family

1) Brian took Baby C's birthfamily to the airport then we both cleaned the extended stay hotel. We picked up BAJA from school. He got in the car and declared "Mommy Daddy I have something VERY important to tell you!...no no it's not about school. We need to pray for another birthmom there's another baby coming to our family!" Me: "BAJA the ink is barely dry on this adoption!" "Mommy there's another baby!!"

2) In our quest to find Baby C I was anxious, unsettled. In addition to LDSFS adoption we were with CSS adoptions. CSS was discontinuing their program. After nearly 4 years we increased our budget and enlisted the support of Heart to Heart Adoption and Adoption Center of Choice (ACC) ACC encouraged us to create a book of our adoption profile rather than our website or a few designed pages. I had 10 of these books printed and then we found Baby C. What to do with these beautiful books? Well I took them to LDSFS. A co-chairs for our chapter I thought we could use the book as an example of an idea to help find your family. I left the book in February 2010 at the agency.

3) October 2010 - Our caseworker called. She asked me if we were going to put our paperwork in January when Baby C turned 1. "Of course because I don't feel like our family is complete" Not only because of BAJAs declaration (oh so cute and faith building) but I didn't feel settled. I didn't have the Hallelujah chorus telling me this was it for this life. Despite being weary from Baby C's adoption I still knew we needed to PRESS FORWARD. Once we chatted she told me that a birthmom named Vanessa had come to the office. Vanessa had seen our profile book. She told our caseworker "I want to place wit that family...they look kind." Our caseworker told her well this family isn't available right now. She encouraged her to look at other profiles. Vanessa said she didn't want to look at any others. There was something about us.

So the Story Begins
I think our caseworker took some time before calling me. She again asked about our intent to open our paperwork again. She asked me about preferences etc. Then she told me of the experience with Vanessa. Our caseworker told me "I don't know the gender of the baby...after hearing the details with Vanessa what do you think?" My heart stopped...then I took a deep breath. "Yes...I'm pretty sure we can consider this let me chat with Brian but I'm sure he'll want to as well." What do you say? Really after the struggle we've had to find our family I don't say no very often. Birthmoms for us don't come along every day. Ye I wanted a girl but really that wasn't the issue. After talking with Brian we both felt comfortable.We called our caseworker and told her we'd move forward. After a week or so we didn't hear anything and quite honestly I put it out of my mind. I was busy with 2 boys.

November 2010. Our caseworker called and asked me again how I felt about Vanessa. Fine I guess how am I suppose to feel? She told me Vanessa had an ultrasound. She's having a boy. Vanessa wanted to know if we would be ok with another boy? I laughed out loud!! Of course it's a boy. That seems to be what we have in our family (my brother has 4 boys, my sisters each have 3 boys) "Sure...that's fine...we just want to find our family! Yes please tell her we would love another boy!" I didn't hear from our caseworker again for a week or so. Again I tried to put it out of my mind. Then just before Thanksgiving Vanessa wanted to meet with us. We agreed.

It was an interesting face to face meeting. Vanessa reminded me SO much of my sister Barb, her mannerisms and her features. (Vanessa was more reserved than Barb :) We brought Vanessa flowers and chocolate. Vanessa started asking questions. So different than any other meeting. "Which temple will you have him sealed to your family? Will he have a blessing? How do you feel about adoption? How will you take care of a baby in his situation?" We talked and enjoyed our visit laughed and had intense moments. Then Vanessa said "I just feel so unclean." My heart ached for her tears welled in my eyes. I felt prompted I bore my testimony of our Heavenly Father's love for each of us of our Savior and His infinite compassion! That she was engaging in ways to make her life better for her and her baby. I have NEVER born my testimony to a birthmom. I've not brought up my feelings with them. BAJAs birthmom has seen glimpses and been a part of our celebrations but I haven't shared my testimony so deliberately. After some more visiting. She told us she hadn't decided to place yet but if so...it would be our family.

Ok...no what?? Quite honestly Brian and I were tired but we felt at peace. We had learned through both adoptions that Heavenly Father truly is mindful of our family. All flesh is in his hands. As a family we continued to pray. We have met with birthmoms before and it hasn't resulted in a placement. We recalled meeting Cassie in November 2009 just before Baby C was born...the connection was strong with her and we felt good but she had chosen to parent. Brian and I were trying to guard our hearts. We didn't hear anything for awhile. Finally just before Christmas (December 18)our caseworker called....Vanessa has asked me to tell you that she has decided to place with your family. SQUEEE so excited my heart leaped it did circles...I felt so at peace despite the split second panic attack that I would have 2 baby boys a big one and a little one. ELATED!! Vanessa felt that this little baby needed big brothers to help him. She also felt that my education, my understanding of the situation, and my love for music would help him develop to a healthy boy.
HOWEVER....the difficulty set in...off and on...off and on...Vanessa would change her mind even to the very day of his birth.

MY TESTIMONY of BABY JONATHAN...I was given an answer...amid all of Vanessa's indecision...
I had Vanessa's phone number. She wasn't answering our caseworker. She wasn't answering my calls. Given the pregnancy situation there were some issues and I needed to be involved or at least know about the medical care and implications. December 23, 2010 I woke up for an early Baby C feeding. After C fell asleep I prayed. I have learned not to try and tell Heavenly Father what to do...however I had 2 requests that I boldly asked him. 1) If this baby was meant for our family I needed to get in touch with Vanessa by phone. 2) I needed the doctors to know there is an Adoptive Mother involved. I eventually went back to sleep. We started the day. I was busy helping the boys get breakfast and get dressed etc. About 10:00am I had an impression to call Vanessa. We were headed out the door..but I told Brian I needed to call Vanessa. (Brian has learned over the years to just let me do what I need to do when it comes to adoption). I waited through the ring tomes...Vanessa answered. We talked and then she said "I'm not feeling well and want to go to the doctor today..Would you like to come with me to the visit?"
MY ANSWER!!! I have reflected on this answer often...through the difficulty...Indeed miracles!!

The weeks following that phone call were difficult. My emotions were all over the place. Up and down. After one particular interaction with Vanessa I learned that perhaps there might be more than one birthfather. This presented the challenge that would shake me to my very core and require that I reach for my witness often that Jonathan was meant for our family. This other birthfather was not supportive. If it was the other man's then she could place if not he wanted her to parent. As a result we didn't tell very many of the adoption. Really we weren't sure. I wondered how agency would play in this adoption!!

Friday January 28, 2011 Vanessa called me and told me that this man was supportive of the adoption. I wanted so much to trust her..I wasn't sure but I knew I could trust Heavenly Father. She wanted to hear big emotions so I played the part but wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen. His due date was March 8. I told her to keep him growing there until Valentine's Day. Vanessa kept telling me ..."No I think he's going to come early...I don't know if I can make it that long..He may come early.." I urged her to take care of herself. If she was having trouble to call me day or night.

Sunday January 30, 2011 The day Jonathan was born.
Brian and I were fasting...for so many reasons...so many things happening in our little family..we needed Heavenly Father's help. We went to Stake conference. Nice meeting. Then an event occurred. Those close to me know the details...but it was a oh so difficult. In hindsight it was a DISTRACTION (putting it VERY mildly) that I did not need. Ultimately there were misunderstandings, I was so sad that I caused others grief, that my intentions could be so misconstrued. In turn I was hurt, I felt forsaken, I was so remorseful that a misunderstanding had occurred. That communication was closed. This event caused me much sorrow. Since then I feel relationships most precious to me are forever changed--lost. I spent the afternoon bawling, re-examining things. I went to my mom's for family dinner. My mind was elsewhere and I forgot my cell phone. At my parents house with all my siblings we discussed things. Finally my mom said.."Christine you need a blessing" I asked my Dad for one. He left to prepare. When he returned he told me that my blessing wasn't for the situation. I had to put that behind me...there was something else... THIS BABY was the intent of the blessing. I experienced a great lesson..a perfect example of Heavenly Father's love. The very time my father was giving me a blessing 5:00pm Vanessa was calling my cell phone. She was in labor!!!

One of the caseworkers contacted Brian's cell phone. She said Vanessa contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. She asked how far away we were from Vanessa and the hospital. We were rushing. Thomas my brother was chatting with me. (Remember that he is the father of 6 children.) "Don't worry Christine it's probably early labor and they'll send her back home. Just go support her." My reply. "Ok you're right her contractions 5-7 minutes apart...she'll be ok. Although this is her 5th pregnancy" Then my brother said, "What??? Get to Vanessa now!!!"

I called Vanessa en route. She was SCREAMING. She was waiting just outside her door. We arrived at 6:30pm. I ran so fast from the parking lot to her apartment. She was on the phone with one of the potential birthfathers. My heart sank but my prayer in my heart...I had to trust. I thought Vanessa would have the baby in the backseat of our car. We arrived at the hospital at 6:40pm. Labor and Delivery got a wheelchair. They helped her. I checked her in and gave all the information and explained her medical situation. Brian and I went to the birthing room together, and Brian waited outside the door. I entered. There were several staff. So much confusion. Vanessa couldn't answer questions she was in labor. I answered then I heard "Too late for steroid shots to help his lungs this baby is coming. They quickly took her to the operating room. I had to wear the sterile suit and cap on my head. Some comic relief in all the seriousness for me... I can only imagine what I looked like. White sterile outfit, my skirt squished in the jumpsuit and my 2 1/2 inch heeled black boots. Sweet!!!

I helped Vanessa get settled. I stepped outside to the corridor and saw Brian down the hall. At this time the caseworker was with Brian. I yelled "She's having the baby..." Brian I LOVE You!
Continued in Part II

Think Spring

2011-04-10T13:51:00.004-06:00

Just before Mother Nature decided to play a joke this past week...all of the boys went outside to play. BAJA helped Baby C walk along and climb up the jungle gym, Baby C brushed the grass and laughed and laughed. Even Baby J went outside for a few minutes. Spring come back soon!!

Happy 2 Months Baby J

2011-03-30T11:23:00.004-06:00

March 30, 2011

My little one is 2 months old! Oh how I love you Baby J. I continue to marvel each day at the blessing you are to our family. We didn't anticipate that you would arrive so soon after Baby C!
Oh wonderful blessing!
You LOVE to snuggle. You know your Mama's voice (and Daddy's). This past month you've had such horrible pain from reflux. Finally we have you on 2 medications-you are much happier!
I'm trying to savor every minute with you---you might be our last.
I love the quiet time with you in the wee hours of the morning when all is quiet and we can talk. You stare at me with your big blue eyes!
I'm so proud of what you've accomplished you are now 7lbs 5oz. You keep growing!! The NICU was a painfully difficult time to watch what you went through but that part is over and you are one STRONG SWEET SPIRIT!!
I am so honored to be your Mama!!

Your BIG brothers love you so much! Baby C wanted to hold you all by himself so today he did! YOU ARE SO LOVED!!

Bath Time

2011-03-27T12:33:00.005-06:00

Bath time is one of our favorites. I like to have soft music -harp playing, and sing. Such a sweet time. As my boys are getting older it does get a little more loud. However, with Baby J a quiet calm has returned. BAJA likes to help, Baby C likes to look and point as well as play in the bathroom cabinets :). Really the whole experience is All very sweet!

Brian was home so he was able to take pictures Thanks Bri.
Baby J is still quite tiny so he can fit in the bathroom sink. Easier on me so I don't have to lean over. This past week I took him to the doctor and he is 7lbs 5oz Way to go Baby J.

Perhaps Baby J is our last baby so I'm SAVORING EVERY minute!!

Bless This New Life

2011-03-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

Being a busy mom of 3...I'm trying to settle in to this new life. Happily mind you.

BAJA and I had a chat while he cuddled with Baby J.
Me: BAJA we need to enjoy and cuddle with Baby J as much as we can...he's going to be our last baby

BAJA: Silly Mama...he's not our last baby! He's our last Baby BOY!! We have a baby sister.

ME: Oh ok (sad smirk)...You may be a really really big boy when that happens so for now let's just enjoy it.

BAJA: Ok Mama but remember to have faith!

My my I love my BAJA, Baby C, and Baby J. Every day I pinch myself that I am blessed and have children who are of FAITH. I hope I have the strength to help them ALL keep their testimonies.

I love to savor every minute but find the day just slips away quicker with 3 little ones now. I want the 6 months to arrive quickly so we can finalize this difficult adoption and go to the temple. Then my heart can rest. That also means that if I wish it quickly these 6 months will be gone. Just trying to re-learn the lesson that I had 7 years ago. "BE PRESENT...This Life is a PRESENT"

For now...I'm settling in to this new life where my floor is dirtier, I always have a stack of dishes, and my house is noisier. Should a baby sister arrive in our next life so be it. For now though...Bless this new life!

Respect the Van - Counting My Blessings

2011-03-17T18:00:00.000-06:00

Brian and I have been on our quest for our family for the last 16 years. At that time we had our hopes and dreams and expectations of what parenthood would bring.

We thought that meant a minivan. Yes yes the van has been the subject of disrespect. About 8 years ago I recall Brian retelling the story of a conversation he had at church. The fathers there were complaining about buying a minivan. They had to trade in their sedans for the dreaded minivan. Apparently they went on and on AND on with their complaints. Finally Brian had it..."I'd give anything to have a family and to be in your predicament of having to buy another car because you have too many children for your sedan...I'd give anything for a minivan" Well that quieted them on the subject. So much so... he never had that conversation with anyone again. I guess don't mess with the barren couple.

The minivan is considered the quintessential family car. The family...ah the family... this quest has eluded us for years.
So although there are more choices in family cars these days..I couldn't help but think of the minivan. The week after we brought Baby J home from the hospital Brian went to several dealers. Mind You my dream minivan we can't afford (hey we've had 2 adoptions in the last 13 months ...that's a lot of money) ...but he brought one home for me to test drive. A minivan was in my driveway. Wow!!
No longer the barren woman NOW I am a Mom with a Minivan. I truly am counting my blessings!!!
Bring on the stick people decal on the back of the minivan too:)

Happy St Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T05:30:00.001-06:00

In anticipation of St Patrick's the boys did a craft together.

At first it was just for BAJA and Baby C. I kept checking on Baby J in his room. Every time I walked out of the room he cried. I though hmmm I wonder if he misses us..sure enough I think he did. Normally Baby J likes to be swaddled but I decided to have him in the bouncer on the table to watch his brothers be creative CONTENT he was!! Love that the boys like to be together.

So the boys made hand prints. I decided to have Baby J's footprint just to be sure he didn't get any paint in his mouth:)

The final project.

Pie Day

2011-03-14T14:10:00.004-06:00

Pi = 3.14

That's geek for March 14
So how did you celebrate Pie Day

We had Pie of Course!!

Quiet Alert

2011-03-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

I LOVE watching Baby J in his quiet alert states.

Sometimes I feel that he's saying "I am so glad to be home! In my house with Mama and Daddy, with my brothers!"

Seriously cute..I'm in love with him more and more each day! Smitten!!!

My Silly Baby C

2011-03-12T13:18:00.001-07:00

I just love this little boy Baby C! he has quite a strong personality. He has a deep laugh, a contagious smile, independent, and a mischievous side.

He wants to be just like his big brother BAJA. His favorite lunch is peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some fruit whether it's bananas (that often end up swirled in his hair) or his new favorite strawberries.

he is determined to feed himself so near the end of meals I have him try.
Oftentimes there is more on his face than in his mouth!
Ah....the joy!!

Happy 1 Month Birthday Baby J

2011-03-12T07:00:00.001-07:00

March 2, 2011

Happy 1 Month Birthday Baby J
He was born on January 30 but February is rude and has less days so he gets to have 2 birthdays in March!.
Each life is worth celebrating but dare I say a baby's life placed for adoption is DEFINITELY worth celebrating. So many choices yet choosing to place with a family that will cherish and love this child.
This month has been a month of emotions. We feel so blessed!
Baby J you are 5 lbs 4oz and getting stronger every day!
You smile at us, you laugh, you LOVE to be held, enjoy cuddling, and look around at this beautiful world.
Your Mama and Daddy cherish you, your brothers ADORE you!
Happy Birthday my sweet little lamb!

Remember the tradition of sitting in the chair to compare how you've grown? So wonderful that we have 3 brothers on the table for a picture with the cake!

Brotherly Love

2011-03-06T18:56:00.008-07:00

BAJA and Baby C LOVE their Baby J

It warms my heart to learn they are reunited. I truly believe they knew each other before. This past week was also the first week we let BAJA hold Baby J (he was just so little and tiny).

Baby C loves to give loves by putting his head on Baby J's and give lick kisses:)
BAJA just loves to cuddle. So tender so sweet!

Bringing Baby Home

2011-03-06T18:54:00.008-07:00

Friday February 18

At rounds, we were told Baby J had sufficiently gained and maintained his weight. He could now go home. A month before schedule! THRILLED!!
The doctors and medical staff said that much of Baby U's miraculous recovery was because we were here daily to hold, cuddle and LOVE him. Truly love is great medicine but I also believe in prayer and the power of priesthood. Truly humbled by this experience.
The Neonatologist was also happy to learn of my education and how I have been prepared. He also was impressed to learn that we go to Kindermusik and Baby J will have this opportunity as well to help him with the neurological development.
Thank you to wonderful family and friends for your support and prayers on behalf of our little family. I will never forget the experience and emotions of the NICU. Truly no words can describe.

When we arrived home. Brian and I had some quiet moments with Baby J. We gave him a tour of our home and Brian gave him a father's blessing. SWEET!!

Later his brothers were able to meet Baby J. BAJA wanted to have a pizza party for Baby J. We also decided to decorate a little bit. That means balloons inside the house, a few outside, and the flag outside. We were worried to decorate out of fear from the adoption but in the end Brian convinced me it was good for our psyche and emotional recovery.
We had a cake and pizza.
The moment our boys saw Baby J...heaven!! They truly are meant to be brothers. Baby C pointed to our family picture of us at the temple, then pointed to Baby J, then pointed again at the temple. Baby C knows!! BAJA said, "Mommy I understand now...Baby J is my baby brother!" Later when the caseworker visited...unprompted the VERY first thing BAJA said was "Our family IS NOT COMPLETE...there is another baby..I'm telling you our family IS NOT complete" Wow the faith of my little BAJA. I'm happily adjusting to my busy life with 3 boys. Truly I am blessed to have my hands SO full!

Little Valentine

2011-03-06T12:15:00.001-07:00

Funny how little holidays like Valentine's Day changes meaning when you have a little one in the NICU.

The night before Valentine's (Sunday) we took a break and visited Grammy. We made Valentine's so BAJA could take one to his birthmom. Her favorite holiday is Valentine's. I also found a cute bracelet at the hospital gift shop and of course I had to buy one for me too. When the clerk rang up the two bracelets Brian looked puzzled...I said thank you for the Valentine. After 16 years I know what is needed...the clerk laughed and she said so true I've been married 30 and another customer laughed and said yes 45 for me that's how a happy marriage is made. It was just funny. I know Bri would have given me a valentine but with everything going on well...I helped him a bit :)

Rats I don't have pics of BAJA giving his Valentine. I need to be better at that.
In the NICU we made friends with a few families. A great support to each other. So Baby J received his first valentine in the hospital and also gave some to the others. Friends Grace and twin boys Turner and Beckham. Baby J was moved to a crib that day and of course I had his Valentine hearts on the wall. Grammy also kept sending sugar cookies and goodies for the staff as appreciation.LOTS of miracles in the NICU

Clothes for the Little Man

2011-03-06T11:28:00.004-07:00

For awhile Baby J was so tiny and miserable that putting clothes on him was difficult. Just wrapping him in a warm blanket gave him comfort. However he was able to have clothes on during his second week of the hospital February 11. I started thinking I needed to get him some clothes. The nurses said you have enough to worry about besides if there is a special outfit it might be difficult to keep track of it for you. Just let us help you and you can concentrate on him getting better. Those was the kindest words.

Stories from the NICU

2011-03-06T11:00:00.004-07:00

What an experience the NICU was. Days seemed to merge together. Time moves slowly and quickly. Cares and feeding every 3 hours. It seemed it would take forever until cares (diaper change, temperature, weighing, feeding) and then all of a sudden it was time. Things can change quickly too. I told the nurses one day that I was stepping out to use the bathroom when I came back Baby J had been moved to another room. I laughed with the nurses about it and they thought it was funny but the clerk didn't oh well...you have to have a sense of humor in the NICU otherwise I think the issues will become overwhelming. The room we were moved to was the SAME room Baby C was in last year. Although no windows. So time did move differently and not the best cell coverage for text messaging. The staff thought Baby J would be more comfortable in a quiet room. He liked it soft and quiet.
We often had the same nurses but just in case...I used my Child Life training and posted my sign about Baby J's personality and his cares. In addition the sign said that when Mama isn't here let me cuddle with her scarf it comforts me. LOVE it!! And truly the nurses commented how it worked. I also decorated his crib with pictures of his big brothers. Of course BAJA made pictures for him to in order to welcome him to our home and family.

2011-02-08T22:50:00.003-07:00

Tuesday February 8, 2011

I spent a few hours with Baby J today.

To help him learn to feed..we are able to feed him from a bottle once a nurses' shift (the other times he is given formula through his feeding tube. He drank a bit from the bottle for me then...we just gazed into each others' eyes. (and I sang a little too)

Seriously in love with Baby J!

Thanks Jen the Speech therapist for taking the pics :)

Welcome Baby Jonathan

2011-02-08T22:27:00.008-07:00

Baby Jonathan Adoption Story Part II
Born Sunday January 30, 2011
7:08pm
4lbs 4 oz 17 inches long

Courageously placed with our family on Tuesday February 1, 2011

We have fallen in love!! We are so please to now announce that baby Jonathan was placed with our family on Tuesday evening.

He was born at 33 weeks on Sunday January 30 7:08pm. He was 4lbs 4oz 17 inches long

It's been quite a difficult week as to whether or not the birthmom would sign. Brian and I picked up Vanessa our birthmom when she called and said she was in labor. her contractions were 5 minutes apart. I checked her in and she was taken to the birthing room. The staff realized she was about to deliver and he was arriving so she was taken to the operating room. While in the operating room one of the potential birthfathers arrived. I felt that I should be kind and compliment him. I saw Baby J for just a moment before he was given to the NICU nurses. I could hear him crying (good sign). I helped Vanessa with post support and then in the post birthing room. Birthfather stormed in and I was ordered to leave. The nurse found Brian, our caseworker and me a room. I went to get a soda from the support room. I nearly fell down. I was so overcome with emotion. I just started to shake. The nurse returned and told us that he was too hostile and we needed to leave. I cried the whole way to my mom's house. All I wanted to do was hold my boys. I couldn't sleep that night. I was exhausted and I prayed most of the night. I felt that I should look up a talk from Elder Holland. After I read this passage I could sleep.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike—and they will—you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham’s seed.

I certainly needed angels to race at speed to assist our little family. I needed strength.

Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. [D&C 78:17–18]
I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, . . . and mine angels [shall be] round about you, to bear you up. [D&C 84:88]
(For Times of Trouble, March 18, 1980)

Brian and I weren't allowed at the hospital. I decided no matter the outcome I needed to prepare placement gifts or birth gifts.
For each adoption I have felt my boys' tremendous spirit. When Ashlee placed BAJA in my arms and when Baby C was placed in my arms after his delivery. Yet this time it was a quiet peace when I held Baby J for the first time. Then I watched Brian hold Baby J and then..I felt such a confirming feeling. Vanessa marveled I just watched Brian..Truly one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

Throughout the week we have been threatened by the possible birthfather, hospital security was called, and ultimately we were concerned for not only our family's safety but our birthmom as well.
However now that we have custody we feel at peace. Truly Heavenly Father has been mindful of our little family. Our courageous birthmom knew she was making the right decision when she saw Brian hold Baby Jonathan.
It is anticipated that he will be in Newborn Intensive Care for at least a month.
We are so blessed to have 3 beautiful boys. Truly I am counting my blessings!!

Look Out World...He Walks!

2011-01-29T09:46:00.005-07:00

Baby C took his first few steps on his own last week...or walk then dive. Now he is trying to walk. He still prefers crawling (much faster)Yet he'll pull himself up to the couch, the train table, drawers, anything that helps him be steady and then....HE WALKS!!
He also already knows how to pivot so if he decides he wants to go another direction, he turns!! On Thursday night he tried to move from a kneeling position to standing..he lifted one knee but struggled. Then he decided to have both feet on the ground and his head down. He couldn't figure out how to stand up. My my this little one is on his way. Look Out World!!!

Another new first. He climbs on the couch. He figured out he could scoot a toy bin to the couch, step on the bin, climb on the couch. When Mama's sitting near the couch, that works too. :)

After all that hard work....needed a snack!!

I am so amazed at this little guy!
I'm also happy that big brother BAJA also helped him learn to walk. BAJA would drive their car and have Baby C follow behind him walking. He's also pick him up and "help" him.
I love the bond these brothers have. It melts my heart the way they help each other.

I'm so blessed to be their Mama

First Haircut

2011-01-28T23:50:00.007-07:00

Thursday January , 2011

Baby C had old man hair...the fly away wispy hair that's uneven. We've even called it Vice President Joe Biden hair :) It was time for his first haircut. He was so excited to go to Cookie Cutters all by himself. He's watched BAJA sit in the cars, drive and watch a show while getting a haircut. It seemed he was so happy to finally have a turn.

We chose Baby Neptune from Baby Einstein. He sat in the car...the stylist handed him a comb and he immediately put it on his head. Ahh I could just squeeze him!! He was such a big boy and was so cute!! He really did well the stylist was amazed. He was curious about the clippers and loved the water to dampen his hair. We spiked it up for fun with hair gel and then tadah...a balloon!!

While we waited for his certificate of first haircut we played on the slide. Baby C decided he was big enough to try climbing up the slide all by himself!! Seriously how did this little guy get to be so big!!

Love you Baby C...what a handsome little guy!!!

Someone's Been Sleeping in My Bed

2011-01-28T23:43:00.002-07:00

Tuesday January 26, 2011

I taught class on Tuesday night. When I got home Brian was reading stories to the boys. We tucked them in for the night. At the end of the night I headed for bed. Someone had been sleeping in my bed.

It just made me giggle!! BAJA has been so nurturing lately to his toys.